[ sometimes I can hold my tongue
sometimes not ]
twisted insights 5.0
Break the terror break the terror break the terror of the urban spell
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[ sometimes I can hold my tongue sometimes not ]
I read: |
college student. (english literature, dance, education)
quite fond of: friends and family (and where the lines blur) poetry the bay area dance (for life and always) eating constantly party time (excellent!) retail therapy olympic level procrastination wandering in libraries sleeping at odd hours emotional masochism Youtube Last.fm 
Poetry Excerpts from "Sound Off" chapbook. Poetry Workshop I, Mills College, August-November 2009. Copyright 2009, all rights reserved. "Progression"
As a
repeated chest pelting
supposition
early onset dementia
bewildered iris
mission statement
as
Horizon line
Testament not old not new
Ampersand
Technology etching That’s enough for today.
"unscheduled" tight
"strangers"
this glass was blown and cut and formed
"Chicken Chow Mein" Nothing is delivered without cost.
[ cohesion and concreteness
Ideals are minimal. Intangible. Disintegrating.
Your fortune: Only you can change your life. No one can do it for you.
It is quite the reasonable goal,
Archives
Text credits: Tori Amos Recent posts:
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Friday, November 12, 2004
la de da, finshed all homework besides geometry project, so i'll sit down and try to finsh that in a couple hours.
on a sad note, Anna's friend Dimitri has been hit by a truck and is in a coma. *prayers and flowers* i'm thinking of both of you I might get to go to the Alice in Winterland concert! Jem and Joss Stone are playing, which is SO cool! cheap tix are 15.00, better ones are 20.00, it goes up to 35.00. It would be so cool 2 go! man, this weblog sucks lately. I'll post some poetry (if you want to see my writing, i would suggest going down to the alanisutopia link and going to the express yourself board, i post my stuff there now. (s/n is dancegirl5). I actually started writing a story yesterday, how strange is that? lol so...here's everything since October 30th. 10/30/04 Little Conversations There are so many parts of me Sometimes I’m showing my true colors Other times I’m everyone else’s girl Maybe one day, maybe one day I won’t be scared anymore Those little parts that hide away They only see the light in my dreams And when no ones around And I’m such a hypocrite But you know, it’s hard; I’m not going to tell you again The fear is there and I don’t even know it Never a good time to say what I really think To share how I really feel And the second is gone before I can speak It’s a second. Didn’t take the chance. Seize the moment. I don’t really feel bad about it anymore. When I sit around and analyze it Little conversations, around and around in my head I’m sorry to myself But sometimes it’s not worth it Takes up too much time Time I could use to change myself Even though I know I wouldn’t I don’t think I’ll ever really know myself. I can’t figure out if that’s a problem or not. Credit for quotes and song titles intentionally used: Tori Amos – Girl and Alanis Morissette – Sorry To Myself Reality 10/04 Sometimes, I want to be far from here Have an angel, a fairy carry me under her gentle wing Away from the place I call home To a place of glamour To be swept up in a cascading waves of bliss trips and perfection My soul cries out for those who can’t do the same But it’s not real Right here, my people. This is real Empty longing and shame in their eyes And no one to carry them away ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Companion 11/1/04 I can’t let fear be my companion anymore We’ve traveled along this road And I can’t cling on Merely to have something to depend on To bring me down Keep me close to home, a shelter to hide underneath You’ve been a faithful companion But I can’t love you anymore I’ve been breaking free, piece by piece Destroying little rops and bars Even though I don’t want to go My heart says I have to I’m never going to grow if I don’t It’s time to take it upon myself to find someone new There’s a chance they’ll break my heart But a chance they won’t So I can sit here asking questions If I felt like wasting my time So I’m getting up, leaving you here Fear doesn’t deserve a look back It might draw you back in ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11/2/04 Life Cycle I’m not always going to look like everyone else I’m not going to think the way you do Not everyone’s going to like it And it’s okay, I’m going to live for me Isn’t it hard when your self-confidnce falls fast Rushing so fast you can feel the breeze of the final drop And the first pang of hopelessness takes your breath away Almost more than you can bear The selfish moment you have to take to ask “Why does this have to happen to me?” And unwillingly knowing you’ll have to pick yourself back up So you’re not left a figure in a glass box Trying to make a connection There’s a wall, always a wall Knowing the feeling of elation before you crash the only thing that keeps you going And it’s okay ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11/6/04 Wonder I don’t believe in ghosts, but spirits are real Pixies are a myth, but fairies exist I’m terrified of the dark, and I sleep in it every night I want to know what you think, because it makes me wonder --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Running in Circles 11/8/04 I touch my fingers to my lips And I miss you I see my own reflection in my eyes As I stand alone, the gentle breezes caresses my skin Much like the way you used to But not really It’s not the same without you around Days drift by, but I can’t go on I’m not moving on, you’ve still got me on a string And I miss you I want you more than anything And now you’ve gone away I hate myself for letting you walk out And the door just kept swinging I knew you’d come back, I knew you would You just had to The door stopped You’re never coming back And I miss you I don’t know what to do anymore I’m just waiting for my mind to stop running in circles |
